You Are Viewing

A Blog Post

Freindzone as a social capital

Each modern0bea25e4fb3fab569ddc4f42d69fd9967047e22ba09cb08e2fc7ea73ee58f683 young person has been “friendzoned” at least once in life. Perhaps they did not even know that things happening in their life was called that way (as it is a new word), but anyway it was a “friendzone”. So what is it?

After long discussions with friends and street interviews, I find out that it is not so easy to define this word, as it describes too many different situations. For example, people often mentioned such phenomena as “friends with privileges” and “friendship after breaking up” to define the “friendzone”. I would define “friendzone” as a situation where one person wants a romantic relationship with another person and demonstrates it in every way. However, the other – does not, so he/she gently refuses offering to remain friends, or even pretends nothing is happening (if the first person does not draw him/her out for a frank talk). It is important that people continue to have romantic feelings towards another, and another, in turn, tries to keep these feelings alive even after a failure (if it took place).

“And for me “friendzone” is like the edge of a love triangle, because it’s like you’re close enough with the person so that he/she shares experiences with you, but on the other hand, he/she is concerned about another. Or is it just unrequited love?”

For example, one person creates a “friendzone” and the other one falls within there. An interesting question appears: why should you put someone to the “friendzone” and, moreover, keep him/her there? After all, perhaps, it would be better to say “no” and let person go. On the basis of the same interviews, it emerged that there are many reasons for this, the most important of which is the need for another person. Moreover, the need may be of quite different nature: from the very presence of a company to having help with the move. Here it emerged that girls create “friendzones” more often, because they need “strong male hands”, while young men do not really understand this “murky” behavior in general.

YM1: “Oh, can you install Windows for me?” – Of course, all the girls do this. They just don’t admit it.

YM2: They do. And I have even more to say – it is embarrassing for them sometimes.

Altogether, all the reasons for “friendzone” existence can be combined with one phrase – people’s need for “social capital”. It is no secret that a large number of friends can make life a little easier: someone will help rent an apartment, someone will help find a job, and someone can be fun just to hang out with. The advantage of the “friendzone” in this respect is obvious, as a “friendzoned” person is ready for more in contrast to “just friends”. They are willing to meet you at the airport late at night, to customize your printer dozens of times, and if you feel lonely, they are ready to come and cheer you up, meanwhile cooking soup, washing your shirts, or doing something else…

“I’ve got an interesting story. I posted something on VKontakte: music, pictures and stuff. And one friend of mine thought they were dedicated to her. So, she began to hit on me. I wondered for a long time then: what should I do? It seemed like I could make it with her once in a while, but on the other hand, it’s not really good to do so. Well, eventually, I flipped her off, after all, the other day I was “friendzoned” too, why should a person go through such a torture. But it was a honeypot, of course …”